My blog posts are generally positive and exciting, but this one isn't- and that's okay. You want to really know what's going on in my life and how I'm doing? Well, here it is. If you don't want to be swarmed with negativity and/or profanity, don't read it.
A recap:
4 years
A recap:
4 years
6 diagnoses explored
8 (really 10) medications tried
5 hospital visits
1 stay in the psych ward
3 therapists
2 nurse practitioners
1 psychologist
2 psychotic breaks
35 visible scars
4 tattoos to cover the others up
4 tattoos to cover the others up
Too many fat lips and black eyes
A lot of poor choices
Too many friendships fucked up
1 pretty broken person
A lot of poor choices
Too many friendships fucked up
1 pretty broken person
0 fucks left to give
I am no longer who I used to be and that discourages me. The meds take a piece of me with them every day and night that I put them into my body. We are unsure if the side effects will go away, but "it's important that [I] stay on them."
They teach you from a young age that you can be whatever you want to be, and if you work hard enough, you can do whatever you put your mind to. Well, that's not true. Especially not when your mind keeps fucking you over.
That's how the fuck I'm doing, and what the fuck I've been up to.
They teach you from a young age that you can be whatever you want to be, and if you work hard enough, you can do whatever you put your mind to. Well, that's not true. Especially not when your mind keeps fucking you over.
That's how the fuck I'm doing, and what the fuck I've been up to.
I so appreciate your honesty. There are WAY too many people out there that sugar coat the unbelievably painful struggle with mental health. You are a champ to be pushing through all the shit. Hang in there lady, I'm here if you need an ear. Or a hug.
ReplyDeleteMy phone and heart are always open. I understand this struggle. Much love, McT.
ReplyDelete