A Golden Year, For Sure

Every year when my birthday rolls around, I find myself thinking a lot about some of my biggest blessings. This year has shown me a lot about how lucky and truly blessed I am.

This year I have been able to spend a lot of my time with my two greatest friends, Tori and Crystal.

Living together has been a pretty unique opportunity because we can do things that are so simple and normal (like cooking dinner) side-by-side and it still feels like we’re hanging out. These two have taught me a lot about myself and new ways to look at things. But most importantly, they’ve loved me a whole heck of a lot. There is not a moment that I can say I’ve looked back and felt otherwise from either of them and I cannot even express the amount of gratitude I have for that. Their random acts of kindness and (sometimes cruel) pranks are constant reminders to me of how amazing, creative, and kind they both are. When I think about the past two and a half years, the majority of it contains them and I can honestly say that I don’t think the years would have been even half as great without them nor would I want to take back or redo any moment spent with them. I don’t think I can express enough how thankful I am for them and I've broken the daily limit on their sappy scale, so I'll just leave it at this...

This year has also been amazing for me academically. This semester I am required to obtain a practicum site (internship) and put in 100 hours at the site and I have landed an amazing opportunity and been officially hired as of Thursday at Excelsior Youth Center where I will be working as something comparable to a life-coach or night watch person (depending on the shift). I am very, very excited for this opportunity because this is the field and age range that I would like to work in when I am done with school and it is going to not only give me experience, but also I will be able to feel out if this is the right fit for me. Another great part of the job is that I am going to be getting paid for it! That is something that was a shocker for me, because most of the sites are volunteer-based. I will also be able to keep the job after the semester is over if it is something that I am happy with! I am starting to feel really confident in the steps I'm taking on my undergraduate pathway and that feeling is absolutely amazing.

Last weekend, Marcus and my parents came to visit for my birthday. Originally Chrissy and Lucas were coming as well, but Lucas got sick the night before they were supposed to leave, so they had to stay behind. I really miss the Orting Senf Clan while I'm over here in Spokane. I miss being able to walk downstairs and pick someone up and hold them upside down (I don't think any of my housemates would appreciate that the way Marcus or Lucas do...), I miss staying up and watching movies with Chrissy, and I miss just being with my family in general. Whenever my parents visit, it is very bittersweet for me; I love every second that I get to spend with them, but the time seems to fly. When I see them after it's been a while, I am reminded of their amazingness. They are both so, so supportive of me in a way that doesn't just suggest that they're giving me a thumbs up from around the corner— they're standing right there with me all along the way. 

My mom is one of the most tolerant people I know. I have this habit of getting frustrated really easily sometimes and something that I've noticed about her lately is that in these moments, even if I'm being snappy with her, she turns the dynamic around and tries to fix whatever is making me feel grumpy. It takes a big and incredibly selfless person to ignore the fact that someone is treating you poorly, and instead try to figure out how to help the grumpy bear. There was a time once that I was making a quilt and one of the edges was not cooperating, so naturally my dynamic turned into a rage of open threats to said quilt (i.e.: "I'm going to light you on fire"). After I got frustrated enough, I gave up. Shortly after, she came upstairs and picked it up and started helping me fix the problem. In the moment, I felt like a jerk I realized that this frustration is something that I need work on, but her grace is what has taught me that. She is a woman who is full of kindness, love, and grace and I can't even tell her enough how thankful I am for her.

My dad is pretty cool too; he is a quiet observer, but is also great to converse with. I love that he is someone that I can go to when I'm in a pickle and need to consult with someone from a logical standpoint. He is also a subtly sweet guy. A month or so ago, I needed to change my headlight, but couldn't figure out how, so I left him a voicemail asking if he had any pointers on what I should be doing and shortly after got an email from him where he had posted a link to a YouTube how-to video. I actually have no clue how he found that, because I had already spent quite a while browsing YouTube for an instructional video. He's a man who is someone that you can count on to love you unconditionally, but also occasionally goes above and beyond and does/says unexpected things to reaffirm that. I am so fortunate to have grown up with a dad who's felt more like a buddy to me throughout the years.

The reason I am getting all sappy about my parents in this post is because today is my birthday, but quite frankly, this day is all their doing. They are two amazing human beings who demonstrate what true love should look like and who have given me more love than I often feel like I deserve. They put me before themselves too often than they should and hope they understand how absolutely amazed by them I am and honored to be their daughter. I've always been bummed about aging and how it changes the dynamic between my parents and me, but at this point, I can only see our relationship getting more awesome each year. Thank you Mom and Dad for your continuous love and encouragement for growth—you are the best!

Today, I will be attempting to make strawberry daiquiris and spending time with friends (after completing a couple of homework assignments and going to the DMV).
Thank you for checking in on me via this post, your support is amazing.

-A

Temporary Home

When I listen to the song "Temporary Home" by Carrie Underwood, I instantly think of my sister. 

Throughout the song, Carrie talks about a "temporary home". Christina has faced many unfortunate and painful situations, but she has always made it through. Every time she's hit a roadblock, it's only been a temporary home to her until she could get back on the path that God has in place for her. Today  marks four years of her being clean and sober, and that is amazing. I cannot even imagine how difficult is was/has been to stay clear of something that can grasp onto someone so strongly, but she is stronger than the addiction. She's stronger than anything I can think of, actually. That is why I have faith in her path of sobriety and any other hardships that she may ever face. 

Christina has an amazing spirit that is unbreakable and I strongly believe that these "temporary homes" have been put into her life not just to give her hell, but also to give her an opportunity to share an amazing spirit with others in similar situations who could use a light. When she graduated from her recovery program, each of the women went around and shared something about her and I was amazed at some of the stories that were shared; one involved her trying to break dance (while almost breaking her neck) to add a little joy to a situation that was happening. If you know Chrissy, it's easy to picture that moment because that's just who she is. When she sees a problem or someone in need, she doesn't think of herself, she instantly starts trying to figure out how to fix it... how to make others feel better. That is something that I really admire about her.

Her and I have had our rough times, but as we've both grown, I can only smile when I think about all of her quirks and how truly unique and special she is. She is a true blessing to know and her story is life changing. I am so proud of the amazing woman and mom that she is every day and am so thankful that she has also
passed her amazingly bright spirit on to two adorable little boys.

4 years... that is 48 months. 208 weeks. 1,460 days. 35,040 hours. 2,102,400 minutes. 126,144,000 seconds. That is a long time. Congratulations on the successful year of hard work and determination, Christina, I am so proud of you. I love you.

The End of an Era

Holy cow, I am a Junior in college… where does the time go??

In the past few years, I have had some of the greatest moments of my life and I’ve made some absolutely incredible friends. I really do feel that they have been one long growing experience for me, which has led to some big decisions.

When I was in sixth grade, I started playing the tuba and I instantly fell in love. If you knew me as a kid, you probably understand why I loved it so much, being the quirky girl who didn’t follow many social norms. I felt unique and accomplished when I played, and the ensembles that I played in filled me with an abundance of warmth at the most convenient of times. When I moved to Orting and enrolled in high school, I was bummed because there was no marching band, and I really wanted to learn how to do field shows and such, but that wasn’t too big of a deal—I don’t feel like I missed out on anything too special. Playing in high school was an amazing experience. The great thing about Orting is that since it’s a town that continues to grow and expand, there is so much potential and room for students to expand. This ability to expand gave me some amazing opportunities to grow in my musical abilities. When we started the drum line, I loved the feeling that it filled me with; I was adding another item to my lists of accomplishment. I wouldn’t want to trade the time that I spent learning the bass drum, and then the quads after school for anything else in the world. At the same time we got the drum line started, we also wanted to pull together a strong jazz ensemble. We started as, like drum line, an after-school club and quickly advanced past that and obtained our own class period. This amazing band I am referring to is The Jazz Fiasco and the Sweet Nothings. In the JFSN, I was challenged in yet another way when I decided to pick up the bass trombone. It was definitely a process learning the new horn, but I absolutely loved it. The JFSN will always hold a special place in my heart—they were a second family to me in the short, but very sweet two years we spent together.

After I graduated, I headed to Whitworth University. When I showed up, I had full intentions on playing in the Wind Symphony (the advanced wind ensemble here), but God had other plans for me. Coming from where I had been, this was devastating to me. Before leaving Orting, I had served as the band secretary, then vice president, and then president my senior year and was very involved in leadership in the ensembles, so I wasn’t used to being an underdog again… I instead played in the concert band for my Freshman year.

Last year, I auditioned for the Wind Symphony again, and made it! I was ecstatic to be a part of something as special as the Wind Symphony, and my hard work Freshman year is what got me there. Shortly after getting the results from Wind Symphony, I received an email from the Orchestra director asking me if I was interested in also playing in the Whitworth Symphony Orchestra. That opportunity blew my mind. Of course, I took it. Last year was a busy year… and I wouldn’t want to have spent that time any other way. Spring of last year, the Wind Symphony went on tour to California, where we played several concerts and had a great time being together on such a great trip—it was truly a blessing to be a part of it.

This Fall, I didn’t make either ensemble. Like I mentioned above, I didn’t make it Freshman year and I was devastated. This year shattered me. This came as pure shock to me, and is nowhere near where I planned on ending up this year, but life threw me a curve ball, so I had to try to at least catch it. I think the worst part of this was that I had just spent all of the summer working and saving, and working and saving and I bought myself a beautiful, brand-spankin-new tuba. She is seriously a beauty, and I love her. But unfortunately, I don’t love playing anymore. I don’t even like it, actually. I have had a few really, really hard moments and let-downs in the past few years in my musical career, and to say I’ve officially burned out is an understatement.

After lots of thought, I have come to realize that I am not playing because of my love for it anymore. I am playing because that’s what I do. It has been what makes me feel special and proud for quite a while now, and also something that I know my family is proud of me for. It sucks thinking about letting go of something that was once so special to me, but it also sucks feeling sucky. I’ve decided that it’s time for me to put my energy into something else that I can be proud of—something else than can define me. That is why I have decided to let go of the pressure I’ve put on myself to keep chugging along with something that is ready to be left in the past. It is time for me to start to dominate my studies, and start to look forward to the “grown-up” I’m working towards being.

It’s going to be a really weird transition for me, but I am sure in the end I will still feel like this was the right decision for me. I’m not quite sure what my musical future may entail (if anything) or what I am going to do with this new tuba, but I know I am going to be relieved and happy and honestly, that is what is important to me right now. Plus, I am going to still have the Whitworth Band of Pirates (Pep Band) to keep me in shape. We started that this year and it really is bundles of fun.

And as for you... thank you for taking the time to read about what's going on in my life and where life is taking me. I am truly honored that I have such an amazing support system.

-Ashley