"You need to just stop... like, can you just not?"

Update: Almost Day 16

Yesterday I was sent home from work due to an assault that resulted in a concussion. I am doing well, just not feeling 100% yet. I had a CT scan yesterday as well which came back normal, so all-in-all, things are okay.

It was very hard for me to leave. When the assault first happened, I was considering going home but decided that I wanted to stay. Unfortunately, the choice was not mine. It's pretty discouraging to get through the hardest part of living on campus and then have it fall short of what I was planning, but it is likely for the best.

My mom is on her way into town with my dogs, which will be a sigh of relief for me. I have missed them SO much, but they have been so well taken care of, which I am very thankful for.

That's really all I've got. I'm clear to return to working on 4/29, so I will be taking it easy until then. When I am given the go-ahead from the doctor, I will have the ability to work from home, so I don't have to deal with unemployment or anything, which will be nice.

I hope you all are doing well and that this quarantine is going smoothly for you.

I started taking daily pictures of campus shortly after I moved in, so I will share some of those so you all can see the beauty that lies within our campus.

Take care,

Ashley

Disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not reflect the policy or position of the agency in which the individual is employed

"Is everybody going crazy?"

Howdy!

Things are crazy in the world right now. Things are crazy in my world, too.

With the COVID-19 virus going around, a lot has happened in the past month. For my future self, I'm gonna list a little bit (you can skip this part, as it is all about the COVID-19 virus' effects).

• Grocery stores are limiting the amount of people who can shop in the store
• Walmart closes at 8:30p right now (WTF?!?!?!)
• People are walking around in face masks and gloves
• Millions of people are out of work
• We are expected to stay home unless going out for "essential" needs

But, the biggest thing that has happened in my life is I am now living at my job for the next month. With all of the stuff going on, we have decided that it is in our best interest to quarantine staff on campus to help prevent spread to our youth and staff. There's a team of 11 people here, and we're all ready to take this challenge on. We are not allowed to leave the campus, but are being fed and delivered essential items.

My first night staying at work was last night. It was kind of a rough night because this setting is very similar to hospital settings that I've been in in the past, which has been slightly triggering, but I'm hanging in there. With that being said, I'm sure this will become "normal" very soon- just gotta tough it out in the meantime. If anything, I'm hoping this is going to help this setting feel more normal so if there is another hospital stay in my future it won't be as difficult as it has been in the past. My mental health is really, really good right now, though, so that's a huge blessing.

I'm really excited to have the opportunity to grow closer with our team and to be a part of something this big. I know in my last blog post I talked about shifting my priorities with work and school, but with the current events, I decided that I needed to put my own feelings aside and step up to the plate.

Anyway, all-in-all, I am keeping my head up and looking forward. School is going well, the dogs are as cute as ever, and I have a new roommate (my best friend, Sara). 

Thanks for checking in on how I'm doing. Stay safe out there, folks!

-Ashley Taylor Phoenix Senf I

"My shit's so lit, we ain't ever gonna quit."

Hey there,

This blog post is a little different than my usual posts, as I am going to speak mostly on my professional career and not much regarding my social life or mental health.

Not much to report. I've been pushing my way through school and doing the work thing too. It's been a weird couple of months; I have come to the realization that I have been viewing my career in the wrong lens. It has become very clear to me that I am not going to achieve what I want to by waiting for my job to see my worth, which has screwed me over time and time again. Instead, I am shifting my focus and prioritizing school. The way I am starting to see it is, I am a full-time graduate student and have a source of income on the side to support me through it. School has shown me numerous times that I have worth and can be very successful if I put all of myself into it. I started this semester in a slump and was still prioritizing work over everything. Before I knew it, my grade had plummeted to a 41%. I told myself that if I failed the class, it was time to drop out for good, but if I could pass and pull it off, I would finish the degree. In four weeks, I brought my grade up to an 80% and ended up passing the class. To top it all off, I have been invited to join the honor society, which is something that did not happen to me during undergrad. The realization that school should be more important that work has made me feel very empowered. I am starting to practice healthy boundaries and not put more of myself than is expected to maintain an income. I can't wait for next May when I am done with school and get to jump into a functional, professional setting.

As far as my mental health, I've been better, but I've also been worse. We haven't been adjusting my meds at all, which has been a really nice break from instability. I am still gaining weight (a side effect of the Seroquel, which in turn has screwed with my eating habits and lifestyle) and am feeling a lot of fatigue, but I'm alive and I'm not completely miserable, so I'd say that's a win. I am working on quitting smoking right now, and it is proving to be very difficult but progress is being made.

I took a quick trip with my grandma to Montana this past weekend. We stayed in a hotel that was built in 1882 that was right on the Missouri River. It was amazing. We were visiting my aunt and cousins, who I don't get to see very often. I enjoyed the time with them and hope we can do more things like that so we can see each other more. Time with them is always time well spent.

The dogs are doing well and my parents are coming to visit this weekend. I'm looking forward to some quality time with them, and I'm sure they're looking forward to getting away from the west side of the state, as it is quickly shutting down. Spokane is doing pretty well, but we are out of toilet paper too.

I hope things are going well with you, reader, and that you are staying positive in this awful world,

Ashley

Disclaimer: the views and opinions expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not reflect the policy or position of the agency in which the individual is employed




I don't have a bunch of pics to post this time. But here's one of me just doing my own thing.